FREAKING OUT while teaching

Have you every had that split second of panic? Have you ever freaked out while teaching?

I have. Today was that day. On this rare occasion, I panicked. I use to get nervous when I first started my training as a teacher; standing in front of the class while being observed. Even after a couple of years of teaching, I generally don’t get worried about observations ( probably because I know lots of people are prayer for me) and extremely rarely do I get panicky about standing in front of a class of primary school kids; I do this all day, every day.

But today while in the middle of teaching maths, I was suddenly away of the fact that I was standing in front of a class with 32 heads looking my way; 64 eyes staring at me. My whole body felt limp and faint. It felt like time had slowed down; that I could feel my heart beating; my Lungs breathing in air: starting slow and rapidly quickening. My mind was screaming at me; ‘Everyone is looking at you! If you make a mistake, they will know.’ Luckily it was for a split moment, then I shook it off and carried on.

I have to say that I absolutely hate speaking in front of a crowd of people; sometime even have a slight panic attack at the thought of it. I know this is ironic as for a living, I am constantly standing in front of a group of kids. But that is the difference; it’s children. They have no expectation; they don’t judge you or criticise your teaching; they don’t compare you to someone else. I use to get sweaty palm and a stutter when speaking in a small group of people my age (I have slowly managed to get over this fear).

It is one thing I would love to be confident in: speaking in public. I have and will continue to challenge myself to do this.

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