Thoughts

After coming back from Portugal a month back, lots of things have been dwelling over my mind: some simple notions; other deeper reflections.

I feel like I’ve changed but for no particular reason. In some ways, I feel like I have no purpose, I feel horizontal; no care in the world. However, I have freedom to pursue my ambitions, my passions and my desires.

While teaching over these last few years, I’ve learnt and grow massively both academically and in knowledge of what I want and don’t want of my life. Even though I have had challenges, struggles while teaching, I have also had extreme satisfaction. I have loved deepening my relationships with the children, understanding their needs and wants, what makes them tick and the joy that each day I am making a slight difference in their lives. The smile I put on their face when they have finally got something that had taken weeks to understand. That moment when you have totally control over a class and they are waiting to learn. I have learnt to teach creatively, plan every lesson that needs to be taught to a class, managed my time and not letting the stress take over my life.

As I write this, I know I have overcome many struggles attached to teaching and can reassure others that in the teaching profession these do occur but you will come out stronger. When going into teaching, I knew that there will be long hours, hard work and stress. Everyday I arrive at school at 7.30am and usually leave at 6.30pm. To some this may be a shock but this is reality as well as taking work home some evening and doing planning at the weekend. All schools are different and I have noticed this from teaching at a different school last year. My previous school was a five form entry school, in a slightly deprived area, teaching ranging in ages, supporting you but up for socials, having fun, majority of the planning is shared and a calm atmosphere. Whereas the school I’m currently in, is a one form entry Christian school, older but friendly staff, trying to plan the whole curriculum without much support (teachers are fending for themselves) in a stressful and pressurised atmosphere. It has been difficult at times but I have realised that as long as you work hard, try your best, not let thing take you under, have inner peace and have a balanced life, you can get through to the other side with great achievements.

I may be naive or recognised this early or just plain silly but I believe that you only life once, make the most of life, live your dreams, don’t put your whole life into teaching or get stuck thinking about work all the time otherwise you will be old, look back and think ‘How did I make a difference? What did I achieve? Did I pursue my passions? Was I stressed all the time?’.

I did think that my life was about getting an education, becoming a teacher (which I have always wanted to be), saving up for a house, getting married, having kids and dying, but now I’m not sure.

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